Clicked from Kellis blog and felt immediately strongly drawn to this particulary article. That video on there is of my brother – literary – but in english. The way that guy treats his wife my closest brother treated me for many years. As long as I had no goals of my own – his own ragdoll – all was fine. One day he truly did push me over the edge and I wasn’t going to take his taunting any more. I wanted him to believe I’ve gone totally Mad Max on him, so I went into the kitchen and got myself a big knife and went back to him and looked him straight into his eyes and told him I’d cut him if he didn’t lay off this shit. At that moment I was not his victim anymore and he looked so little and scared. Think he really thought I’d lost it, but I was very much in control, just wanted him to feel small and helpless for a change. So that’s how far they’ll push a person, who is by nature kind and loving. They make you totally go crazy.
One good thing came out of being raised in a family of this kind of abuse – I would not want anymore of it. But it has taken many years to stop feeling attacked, though not, and not having these painfull feelings emerging now and then. And now this year I realized totally what was wrong by reading blogs like this from survivors. Half my family was spaths and it wasn’t me at all. It never was me. I was just trying to survive. Had an imaginary mother who told me things mothers should tell a child and she helped me alot. She lived in a closet and I could speak to her when I closed my eyes. She hugged me and told me she loved me and that I was wonderful. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about her and how much she helped me, though she only lived in my imagination when I was very small. My mother is definitly a narc too and the brother I mentioned is her golden boy. My baby sis is more like a sociopat. She can do anything, does not matter how horrible, everyone still believe she’s a saint. But that’s another story. That’s just things I’ve come to realize these last months after I stood up to them and they all started to attack me visiously. This visious attacking when caught out seems to be a hallmark for them.
Someone mentioned psychic vampires and how these beings feed on us. Indeed. The author Paul Levy has written books about them. He calls them Wetikos, from the native americans. The Gnostics call them Archons. The arabs call them the jinns. It’s dark spirits and they infest people. My mother has told me she has a ”demon” accompaning her and that’s the catholic name for them. It’s beings that are not connected to the source, the origin of love, which is the building blocks of our existance. Or God. In Disney we have Monster Inc who feed on our fear. Many have seen the shadow beings, we have them in my house when negative energy is projected at us, so they are maybe here now. I don’t see them, but my oldest daughter does. She felt them here after my family started attacking me. This is the reason they killed the shamans all over the world and the good witches. These people protected us from these beings and now we need to protect ourselves. I’m glad whenever I see people that recognize this going on. It’s a mental illness that cannot be cured from the outside, I believe. Only the person themselves, that are infested with this parasite, must want to get free. Not many wants to, as it makes them feel special and full of overinflated ego. I had hopes for mother, since she’d felt the demon, but now she’s totally deluded and is doing everything to cover up my sis naughty business, with the help of the brother.
Vetteljus.org – ibeoDesign