Today my new lawyer recieved the answer to our very generous offer to buy our siblings out so they can go on and party, travel and do what the heck they fancy, and do you know what their demand was? To silence my right to free speech.
They both accused me of doing what they’ve been doing, atleast for two years, but I bet for as long as they have lived. Then they demanded all my work on the internet deleted. Otherwise they’d not accept my very generous offer. Well, then. Don’t. I don’t care. I rather sell everything and forget I ever knew such evil liars ever. They’ve caused me and my family unnecessary suffering by their made up stories. Liars know that people don’t care for proof, so they just lie and lie and lie. After awhile they get so good at it that they can lie their husband or wife straight in their face without them getting they are being lied to. Trust me, I’ve been lied to by people I thought cared for me from my FOO enough times to know that is so. The most stupid mistake you can do is to believe that other people are as good as you are, when you are a good person. Never make that mistake. Listen carefully, watch what people do, not only on their fancy words. Words come cheap. Always only trust what can be proven, never repeat hearsay like some gossiping old hag. That’s the biggest mistake people do today – they trust in only fancy words and good acting, instead of proof you show them. They disregard the proof as ”smear” and the words as the words of a poor victim. Totally insane, if you ask me, as liars tend to lean soley on fancy words, while true victims have loads of hate mails and also testimonies from people that actually have more physical proof in some cases. In many cases all you have is people that can vouch that they’ve been contacted by the liars, and told nasty things about the true victim of the real smear campaign.
I’m now in the dilemma if I should delete my blogs, that I’ve spent many years on some to build up. I don’t know which more then this one and another that a the brother who is harassing me has found. I think he’s being helped by our mother to stalk my sites. For awhile I had my whole website down to get them out of my business, as I unfortuneatly had trusted them with it. I so regreat I did. I keep making the same mistakes as I long ago had trusted friends with my sites and they turned on me and started to harass my sites and even hacked a few and deleted them. I had a guestbook hacked by someone and it was just luck that I got it back. The reason that time seemed to be that a person had found the description I’d given on that site of a nasty person and wanted to give me private support. That site was never mentioning who I was talking about, but obviously whoever hacked my guestbook knew and wanted to read the private comment. My guess that time was that the hacker himself had spread my website in an attempt to smear me, as that is what narcissists do. They take what you have written and send it on pretending you are smearing them and making up lies about them to hurt you. That is actually how narcissists think, so they stalk your websites, blogs and whatever, to find something you say about them that they recognize is about them, and they use that to smear you with. Many times it backfires, like with the guy giving me a supportive comment in the guestbook and my stalker that time had to hack my guestbook to get a peek at the comment. Very funny really and it didn’t scare me, only annoyed me. The commenter found me pretty and the stalker a shithead, so I was satisfied – not everyone believes their crap.
This time however it’s people I’ve known for ages and helped alot. I thought they loved me, but by all their doings and nasty comments they’ve left to other people and even to me, I know they totally hate me. Well, good for them. I think they should embrace their hate for me and go and annoy someone else now. It’s not my problem that they hate me and I wish them a happy life living with their hate. It’s not a pretty place to be in. I’m the kind that cry and scream and extract all my anger out of me at once. I never go around stalking others sites, blogs or channels. Only sick and twisted people feel a need to do that, and I am rather an emotionally honest human being then a sick and twisted person any day. Those not living their lives, but having to stalk other people are pretty sad indeed. I could not care less what they are writting about me on their stupid Facebook accounts, now that I’ve figured out that nobody that I care about cares a shit about their lies about me. I think they are themselves sending links to my blogs to make sure people can read my horrible smears about them! Just like that fuck tard of a narcissist stalker, whom I mentioned above, did. I was so upset over his stalking and his nastiness, and I could not figure out how he could treat me so horrible, after all I’ve done for him and his family. I used to pick big buckets of the finest strawberries I’d myself raised in the garden, as I knew they were strawberry lovers. My husband thought he was his best friend for years, and I let him spend hours and hours every evening with this friend. When I began to make webpages I offered to make one for almost nothing, just to be friendly. I so wanted to be accepted as a friend too, but they only hated me it turned out. Why? Don’t ask me, but I know what I experienced and that was pure evil. That man I finally cursed and he ended up in prison for almost killing a woman. Eight years he got for trying to slit a womans throat.
I jump around alot when I write, and I talk about this and that. I know I’ve had some readers who want me to stop writing about matters that matters to me. For instance a guy calling himself Truthcrackers from Australia seemed to think I was obsessing over the same things. Well, it’s my boring life and I’m stuck in it. If I could I’d make it all wonderful, but when you have nasty people interfearing in your life, you get stuck. When I worked for the church many years ago my boss revealled to me that a person I trusted was smearing me with horrible accusations. I’ve had many such revelations in my days, where people seen the light and realized they’d been listening to smear about me. That is why I’ve come to understand that the best thing to do is to not confront anyone that seems totally under the smearers spell, but to let them get this themselves. Either they do, and they are absolved, or they don’t and they are doomed. I think there is some deep life lessons to be taught from that choice and whatever you choose to do will forever be part of your future lives, as long as you are stuck in this matrix. Which most likely will be along time as long as you refuse to let others live their lives without being attacked, stalked and lied about. Us original souls know this from birth and we just don’t need to learn. We know that speaking the truth is our right and a right that no living being can take away from us without violating universal laws that goes beyond time and space. What my smearers are saying publicly, straight to peoples faces, about me is their free choice. They’ve lied to the court, to the lawyer, to relatives. But it’s their choice and if I’d demand that they’d stop doing that I would try to infringe on their right to be shitheads, which is their right to be. It will make them stuck in the matrix, where shitheads that never learn belong, but it’s their freedom to choose that road.
But I do have the right to ask them to please correct all their lies about me, take back their false statements and beg me for forgiveness and make proper apologies before they have doomed their souls back to some suitable hell-hole of their vibrational choice. I will however only ask them politely to do that, while not having any hope they will ever do that. It’s more likely a narcissist will spontaneously combust, then they will admit to what they’ve done to an innocent person. My blogs are my truth, and I have the right to speak my truth. I speak to the void, to the big nothingness from hence I came from and I speak out to the eather where everything we see are manifested. Here I speak my truth so it will not be forgotten, but out there to see and feel and know. I will not be silenced and I will not die and leave this world for a long time. I know it’s very sad for my smearers to hear, but it’s true. I’m still in top health and I will go on living with the grace of the pureness of the original source from where I once sprung out of my mothers womb, as I so told her. I came here from the Heavenly Kingdom, through my mothers Gateway, her womb. That I told her at age 2, and though I have no recollection of this declaration I do remember coming through the blue tunnel, and into this body. That I do remember, and how I felt before I did so. I was vast. Now I’m a speck. A fragment of what I truly am. So do they scare me with their smear? No, they are specks in the eternity. I will not even remember them once I go to my next life, though I will remember every good soul that I met here. Every single one of those beautiful souls will I carry with me into the light when I travel to my next life, which I already have choosen. Still am I here many years as I now have begun a new adventure. It will be a good one. I take my frustration over their lies that spreads like wildfire to the gullible and I toss it out into the field where it creates it’s own. Every hurt, every scream you toss out will find it’s source and do it’s work.
Will I obey and delete all my work? Will I make them rejoice once again bullied me into destroying my own creations? The evil ones that are luring inside simple people, they will try and try that again and again, as that is what they do. It’s part of their program to destroy anyone travelling here straight from source. The same goes for anyone coming here from any of the more evolved or higher conciousness levels of this matrix. We are all targets by these lowlife bullies. Kind people are their main targets, so many kind people are living careful lives, where they avoid to open up to anyone. It’s cause people know there is evil out there, and as long as it’s not someone inside your family or any of your closer friends, you can avoid it. It’s amazing to me to meet people that treat me as a human being, and in my life that has only happened when I avoid anyone connected to any narcissist that has it in it for me for their own twisted reasons. This is the reason my relatives carried weird believes about me, like I have written about on other blogs. My granny on mothers side thought horrible lies about me, cause someone had told her them. Who? Well, obviously it was my mother who lied about me. I still cries my eyes out when I remember how much granny ment to me, and how little she thought of me. Thanks to all the vile lies she’s heard for years, is my guess. I doubt that BIG lie when I was 22 was the first one. I will not go into it in details, but granny had been led to believe that I was acting lazy like my mother, while mother did all the nice things I did. I cooked food, washed clothes and took care of my sister and the dog mother bought for my closest brother. At the same time I worked hard shifts at the factory, mother would not even go to as her fancy arse was too pretty for that place. Then I was to start at uni and move out and mother lied to granny so she yelled at me for not moving earlier and being such a burden on my mother! Revenge, sweet revenge for me leaving home?
Another weird belief was the one I found out on dad’s funeral. His dear friend told me how kind he was who paid my fines for killing her chickens, as I refused to. It was just that I never killed them, and I still paid the fines as dad refused to pay as he hadn’t caused the damage either. Up till that moment I’d thought everyone knew the truth, but somehow someone have managed to lie about that too. Up until now it’s been pretty safe to lie about me, I guess, as I have been such a very very shy person, who kept to myself as it seemed like most people didn’t like me and I didn’t want to bother people with my boring presence. I was sure they rather ate live worms then spoke to such a total drag as myself. This is exactly how your narcissistic abuser wants you to feel and to behave. When they have you isolated they can use you as a scapegoat. After I had my blackout something had changed inside of me and it was like I was not that person anymore. I’m sure that if I stay in contact with my abusers I will shortly get broken again and accept their harsh and unfair treatment. That is how you behave when you are broken. You don’t question your fate, don’t ask to be treated like a normal being. I will never ever forget when my brother-in-law and his mother treated me like a normal person. It was a wonderful christmas. I thought he was a nice person, so when I realized he too hated me and wanted me destroyed it was a shock. I asked myself: Why did he tell me to tell him if I was unfairly treated? Why did he lie to me that he cared for my wellbeing? Of course, I came to the same solution, the bitter one, that I came with the narcissist who stalked my websites for a year. He fooled me and now I am so scared that all nice people will turn on me too. I will however try to live on the hope that there are good people out there. Not everyone is a liar who only pretends to care. Some are good people. I’m sure.